The rule is simple: whoever issued the invitation hosts, and the host pays. The difficulty is never the rule; it is the choreography. A bill fumbled at the end of an otherwise excellent dinner undoes some of the good work. A bill handled invisibly confirms everything the evening was meant to say.
If you invited, you pay — invisibly
Arrange payment before the dessert plates clear. Leave a card on file when you arrive, or step away near the end to settle it, so no bill ever lands on the table. This is the single most reliable mark of a practised host.
If you are the guest, let them
A host who has chosen the restaurant and issued the invitation wants to pay; a tug-of-war over the bill helps no one. Thank them clearly and reciprocate another time. Offering once is gracious; insisting is not.
Splitting and reciprocity
Among peers with no clear host, agree to split before the meal or alternate who hosts across meetings. What you want to avoid is the public negotiation at the end. Decide the principle early and the moment never arrives.
Tipping and the close
Tip according to local norms — generous where tipping is customary, unnecessary where service is included by law. Settling the tip in advance with your card keeps the final minutes about the conversation, not the arithmetic.